Hold My Hand
Michael Barakiva
Published by: Straus and Giroux (BYR)
Publication date: May 21st 2019
Genres: Romance, Young Adult
Alek Khederian thinks about his life B.E. and A.E.: Before Ethan and After Ethan. Before Ethan, Alek was just an average Armenian-American kid with a mess of curly dark hair, grades not nearly good enough for his parents, and no idea of who he was or what he wanted. After he got together with Ethan, Alek was a new man. Stylish. Confident. (And even if he wasn’t quite marching in LGBTQ parades), Gay and Out and Proud.
With their six-month anniversary coming up, Alek and Ethan want to do something special to celebrate. Like, really special. Like, the most special thing two people in love can do with one another. But Alek’s not sure he’s ready for that. And then he learns something about Ethan that may not just change their relationship, but end it.
Alek can’t bear the thought of finding out who he’d be P.E.: Post-Ethan. But he also can’t forgive or forget what Ethan did. Luckily, his best friend Becky and madcap Armenain family are there to help him figure out whether it’s time to just let Ethan go, or reach out and hold his hand.
Hold My Hand is a funny, smart, relatable take on the joy and challenges of teenage love, the boundaries of forgiveness, and what it really means to be honest.
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Excerpt
“I love it when you’re like this,” Ethan purred. “Like what?” Alek asked innocently.
“Frisky.” Ethan’s mouth traveled down Alek’s neck. Alek squirmed under the onslaught of pleasure.
“Well, it’s been a whole week since . . .” Alek trailed off.
“. . . since we’ve been alone?” Ethan finished for him, between kisses.
“Uh-huh,” Alek managed.
Alek thought, all the time, about what he and Ethan did when they were alone together. Whenever he zoned out, in class or in church or in the back of his parents’ car, that’s where his mind would inevitably wander. He’d recover from those day- dreams abruptly, returning to reality aroused, terrified that technology had been invented that could project thoughts into image and that everyone around him had been witnessing his carnal meanderings.
But during these daydreams, Alek didn’t just reminisce: he also tried to make sense of it. Where did the urge come from? Was it as primal and necessary as eating, drinking, or sleeping? What happened to priests or other celibates who abstained? Did a part of them shrivel up and die? Or did they get some special insight, some wisdom from their abstinence, like martyrs’ hallucinations while fasting in the desert? And most importantly, what triggered the chemical reaction that made it impossible for him and Ethan to keep their hands off each other when they were this close? What was the nature of that kind of basic, carnal, human, undeniable attraction? And how did it compare for Ethan with the other guys he’d been with, like his ex- boyfriend, Remi? Was it more, or less, or just different?
Sometimes, when Alek and Ethan hadn’t seen each other for a while, like when Alek visited Nana over Labor Day week- end, their making out was urgent, hungry, and desperate. Their bodies communicated on an atomic level infinitely more efficient and direct than words could ever be, drawn to each other like metal to a magnet.
Other times, it would be leisurely, like on a Sunday after church, when neither one of them had anywhere to be. They’d kiss, then they’d listen to music, then they’d kiss some more. But regardless of its nature, their making out was always effortless, the antidote to reality.
Until it wasn’t.
“You wanna do it?” Ethan asked suddenly.
“Do what?” Alek asked, even though he already knew the answer.
“Have sex.”
And there it was, the question, hovering between them like an enemy drone, threatening to destroy everything beautiful they had built.
Author Bio:
Michael Barakiva, author of One Man Guy, is a theater director and writer of Armenian/Israeli descent who lives in Manhattan with his husband, Rafael. He is a graduate of Vassar College and the Juilliard School, an avid cook and board-game player, and a soccer player with the New York Ramblers.
GIVEAWAY!
Hoards Jumble 
Congratulations on your upcoming release Michael, the book sounds good and has a great cover too the book is now on my wishlist.
I can’t wait for this book!
Thanks for being on the tour! 🙂